Is Marriage Counselling really the right thing for us…?

There are moments in every couple’s lives when they hit a wall. The get stuck in a situation that feels like a Gordian Knot, unsolvable unless you take a sword and cut through it. And when they do, they automatically think that this is the end of their marriage. But it also can turn out to become a much more happier relationship.

When you get to the point of total exhaustion and not knowing what else to do, you turn to someone who could help you from outside of your current battle field. Because that’s what it feels like most of the time.

You are fighting with your spouse about the same things over and over again, about silly things, but you just don’t know how to break this pattern.

We have all been brought up with certain beliefs and ideas of life and relationship. Upon this belief system is how we react. That’s called our paradigms.

Your paradigms dictate how you react in a certain situation. In combination with your ego (and no awareness of it), this can be an explosive combination.


When we are drawn into a situation through triggers that go very deep, we fly off the handle, and we don’t even want that but we can’t help it. We cannot just stay calm, because our ego is so strong behind all our insecurities and fears.

Without understanding why you react a certain way and what exactly gets triggered in your subconscious mind, you’ll never be able to change yourself and live your life to the fullest of your potential.

PRAGMA has always had a holistic approach. We do not try to solve the problem with the same tools that created it: your mind.

We look at your whole situation, your whole being, your desires, dreams, goals, but also your fears and insecurities.

Every human being has certain needs that they want to see fulfilled in a relationship or marriage. These needs are so deeply installed that nobody can ignore them, even if they try and even if they are not of their needs.

In a relationship, you want a partner who gives you the stability and certainty that they love you. You want someone who surprises you too and makes you feel the most important person in the world. They will make you feel so loved and connected that you get shivers down your spine when you only think about that person. And they contribute to your growth. That’s the whole package that you so deeply desire.

Whatever your belief system looks like, maybe something like „I’ll never find someone who doesn’t cheat on me“, or „I don’t deserve a happy relationship“, you are in total control of your life and the changes you can make. You are just not aware of it yet.

Marriage Counselling as we understand it at PRAGMA, means helping you to become whole yourself first before you can step up in your masculinity / femininity and give to your partner unconditionally.

Understanding the right dynamics between men and women is the first step in untangling the strings of the past and make a brand-new, empowering start in your relationship.

Two Sides to Every Story

There’s always another side to every story. It takes two to tango. No matter what happened in your marriage, understand that it is never only one person’s fault. Both of you need to take 100% responsibility for what happened in your marriage. If you don’t, you are in the blame games. You are not reflecting upon your own behaviour without ego, and with awareness.

And that is exactly what is necessary in order to be totally honest with your partner, to the point of vulnerability. Without honesty, without the certainty that you can tell your spouse anything, and they still stay with you no matter what, your relationship is bound to crash.

The unconditional understanding, love and forgiveness builds this larger-than-life certainty in your relationship. You can be absolutely certain that your partner loves you and that you love them.

And what about cheating?

It is very easy to blame your partner when they have cheated on you. Your ego is hurt, you feel mistreated, betrayed. And all of these emotions need to come up to the surface.

However, the other side of the story is that your partner just didn’t feel their own needs met from you. And that’s why they were looking somewhere else for fulfilment. They were looking for it at work or in an affair.

Looking at a situation without judgement is what PRAGMA does to give you the guidance you need to break free from what’s holding you and your love back. Because we have the strong belief that you deserve the best love on earth. It is just a matter of untangling past knots.

Josef Reisz and Yulia King — Co-Founders of PRAGMA and Experienced Relationship Experts — have worked with numerous couples and individuals, raising their self worth and awareness to become their true selves again.

The tools and methods have a proven success record and are available for you whenever you need them.

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